Whether it’s Twitter that the discussion takes place or whether it’s in real life between peers, the argument seemingly remains the same: women need to get married early to avoid crossing their expiry date.
Women are utterly fed up with being told this and mumble under their breath that nope, they’ll do whatever they want to thank you very much. Yet you see as they edge closer to the societal benchmark of ‘expiry date’ with much trepidation they begin to actively seek out ways to avert the impending disaster.
You’ll see women taking things into their own hands by signing up for all the social media platforms where respectable, ‘God-fearing’ hopefully lurk and going out to everything, from weddings to group holidays. Why? Because the obvious first point of resolving the catastrophe is by averting the disaster.
But what is the almighty ‘expiry date’ that we speak of?
It would make a lot of sense if we were referring to women’s biological clock alone but sadly this is not the case.
Society, which has long since deemed itself the judge, persecutor, and jury of topics, has extended the expiry date to not just the biological clock but rather to every facet of a woman’s being.
Whether it’s career, relationships, or lack of it in some cases, or children, women are dictated the when’s how’s yet never provided with the why’s. You know, because women should faithfully follow the commandments of the society which of course let’s not forget is highly male driven and piloted.
The society has hence proceeded to view women as products or commodities that when left too long upon a shelf shall wither, shrivel or decay. The general consensus is that when a woman hits the 30 mark she should be happily married and have at least two children in order to be considered successful.
Never mind if she is the managing director in a company or if she has just finished earning her Ph.D., these things are of no importance when she is not a Mrs with children suckling on her breasts.
Why aren’t we getting rid of it?
It’s much easier said than done. If you hopped on Twitter at any given time I assure you, you’ll find someone in some obscure part debating on it and shouting (with caps lock on) that allowing women do whatever they want should be how we all function.
But it’s rarely that simple. If you take a look at Linda Ikeji’s comment section, for example, you’ll clearly see comments unrelated to the post with people remarking that “wow you look beautiful but what is all this beauty if you’re still single?”
She has been the butt of many jokes but as she’s shown, it’s perfectly fine to get your grind on and decide to dedicate your focus on your career. She did of course just announce that she is pregnant and some months prior revealed that she was proposed to all at the age of 37.
A great middle finger to the ‘expiry date’ gatekeepers huh?
Still, for every Linda Ikeji glory story you bring to the table the other side of the debate are bringing 50 cases akin to Oprah’s. Oprah, a successful woman who not only dominated daytime television but went on to own various media productions yet unmarried and without children. “A disgrace”, they’ll tell you, “all that money yet no husband or children.”
Women are allowed to not want children or a husband
And guess what? It’s perfectly okay! Unfortunately, a lot of men are yet to see beyond the biological capabilities of a woman to understand that there is so much more a woman wants to do. Women have dreams, aspirations, and goals which, rightly so, should not revolve around the institution of marriage or the delivery room.
Perhaps if more women learned to be less afraid of men’s jabs of “you’ll turn 30 and end up at Shiloh” or “if you make too much money nobody will marry you” in order to do what they want. Not what society wants. Not what their parents want but what they want and is best for them.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment and one hell of a long time to be unhappy or having a kid you’ll feel entirely resentful towards is certainly not something you want to burden a child with.
To answer the question posed, no women, you do not have an expiry date and even if you are nearing menopause, science has developed well past the point of being bothered about that. There are options available like surrogate mothers, freezing your eggs and even adoption.
Really, it’s 2018. Can we stop with the ‘expiry date’ threat now?
