Nigerians like to shy away from the topic of sex, but we are a country of over 190 million people so someone must be getting some. Having sex with the same person no matter how much you love them can get monotonous and you’d want to spice things up. Because I care about you and want your relationship to work, I’ll share some secrets with you.
What is BDSM?
It’s an acronym that stands for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism. But trust me, it’s not as scary as it sounds. It can actually be quite fun and help to build trust in a relationship. It is one of the oldest and top sexual kinks in the world. It has gained even more popularity since the ‘50 Shades of Grey’ franchise became a thing.
It is basically kinky sex involving the use of sex toys, light torture, bondage and wielding trust. It varies from couple to couple, but there is usually a dominant – who controls what happens during sex and also listens to what the submissive needs.
Your Beginners Guide To BDSM
1. For most people, BDSM is usually foreplay, although certain parts can be incorporated into actual sex.
2. You should only try it with a partner you trust completely.
3. Before engaging, you should discuss what you’re comfortable with and your boundaries.
4. You should determine what role you would be taking.
5. You could either be the dominant, submissive (who takes instruction from the dominant and controls the level of play) or a switch.
6. If you are a switch, your partner should also be a switch. This means that either of you could take the place of dominant or submissive.
7. To engage in BDSM, you are going to need a few toys depending on how far you intend to go.
8. Some of the most popular BDSM toys include handcuffs, strap-ons, floggers, silk scarves, blindfolds, ropes, vibrators, and dildos.
9. You may need some sexy music to set the mood.
10. There are different levels but you should never try anything that makes you uncomfortable.
11. You could decide if you like the simpler plays like being tied up and blindfolded or hardcore stuff that could lead to physical harm.
12. Hardcore BDSM is typically called ‘Edgeplay’.
13. It includes eccentric fetishes like bathing your partner in urine, foot worship, rim jobs, etc.
14. BDSM is supposed to be fun, edgy and cause complete trust between partners.
15. It is also meant to be very sexy. I’d advise that if you’re getting ready for BDSM, you wear sexy underwear or whatever makes you feel the most attractive.
16. At every stage, make sure there is consent from both partners.
17. Never push the limit of your body and stop activities as soon as it begins to get uncomfortable.
18. By all means, try new things, be adventurous but be careful.
19. One of the best ways to enjoy BDSM during sex is by getting tied up and being blindfolded. The restraint and lack of a sensory organ increase the sensuality of the experience.
20. Orgasm Denial is a part of BDSM you should definitely try. It involves bringing your partner to the edge of an orgasm, stopping, repeating, until they can’t take any more. Then you let them have a mind-blowing orgasm.
These can all sound freaky but it doesn’t have to be. It should be fun, sexy, sensual and full of orgasms. It would help open communication lines with your partner, spice things up and breed honesty. You should try it! I’d ask that you let me know if you do but like I said earlier, Nigerians shy away from having sex talks. But I do hope that you enjoy it!