The day you have always fantasized about since you were a little kid is here(inserts Nollywood gan gan soundtrack), your wedding night! Of course, you want it to be as sizzling and steamy as you fantasized and as the novels promised. Don’t lose hope sis, we’ve got you!
It doesn’t always go down on the wedding night though. Sometimes you both are worn out by activities of the day and the last thing on your mind is sex. Other times, it goes down for the first time after you get married during the day so this is a ‘first sex after the wedding’ post.
The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.
– Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
1. Create sexual tension
There are lots of ways you can get him in the mood long before it goes down. It should be subtle and not something as major as a the actual act, a blow job or any of that.
Send him a text about the crazy thing you can’t wait to do it him, make a lot of body contact, flirt, tease him and subtly do things that’d make you both look forward to it.
2. Make the room look magical
Go out of your way to make the room look romantic. This doesn’t mean the room should be under any major reconstruction whatsoever. Redecorate it with things at your disposal to make it look sexually appealing. If you are lodged in a hotel, they often make provision for that.
Just stepping into such a magical room together with scented candles and mood music playing in the background can set the mood from zero to hundred and one per cent.
3 Wear a sexy lingerie
This is everything. What the eyes see goes a long way in determining the quality of the lovemaking. It’s your first sex as married couples, make it look like it. Wear a new sexy lingerie that flatters your body in the best way possible. If you are a curvy lady, drive him crazy with a lingerie that clings to your curves. If you are skinny, serve hotness with a lingerie that highlights your best features.
Role-playing spices things up in ways you never knew possible. This especially helps to make things more special and spicy if you both have been having sex in the past.
Stir things up by dressing and acting like a stranger in distress, a badass nurse who came to cure his sexual fever, a stripper, a student, a chef or even a nun! Whatever role you decide to play, make sure you are comfortable in it and don’t worry that you may not be getting it right lest you ruin the mood.
4 Pleasure each other
Now it’s time to be selfless. Focus on giving him maximum pleasure and him you. Does he like his balls licked, his nipples bitten or his dick ‘eaten’? Give it to him like your life depends on it and let him pleasure you as well.
Don’t be embarrassed to tell him what sets your body on fire and how. Guide him if need be. Let nothing get in the way of your pleasure.
5. Make love
Now it’s no more something done in ‘sin’. There’s no fear now of unwanted pregnancy or STD or being caught or whatever.
When you make love, you do not do it just because you want to satisfy yourselves and get it over with. It’s a physical experience with an emotional connection. All the feelings and emotions and yearning are expressed non-verbally and it’d feel like you’d die without it.