The term “Postpartum Depression” might only have gained more popularity in recent times but the condition, which is a sort of depression that comes with childbirth, is something mothers all over the world have experienced since the beginning of time.
The Yorubas called it, Abisinwin – loosely translating to, “madness comes with childbirth”.
For the longest time, it was considered a taboo for mothers to admit to themselves that that they were experiencing this depression, least of all, openly talk about it. The fear of being tagged a bad mother kept women from admitting that the motherly instincts that they are supposed to have or feel is absent or overridden by a sinking feeling of tiredness and inadequacy.
In recent times however, a number of public figures and celebrities are helping women understand that it is okay, even normal, to experience postpartum depression. They’ve been quite vocal about their own experiences and steps they took to overcome the depression.
Below are 5 of those celebrity moms and what they’ve had to say about the condition otherwise known as PPD.
Chrissy Teigen
“I had everything I needed to be happy. And yet, for much of the last year, I felt unhappy. What basically everyone around me—but me—knew up until December was this: I have postpartum depression. How can I feel this way when everything is so great? I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with that, and I hesitated to even talk about this, as everything becomes such a “thing.”
I would be in my dressing room, sitting in a robe, getting hair and makeup done, and a crew member would knock on the door and ask: “Chrissy, do you know the lyrics to this song?” And I would lose it. Or “Chrissy, do you like these cat ears, or these panda hands?” And I’d be like: “Whatever you want. I don’t care.” They would leave. My eyes would well up and I would burst into tears. My makeup artist would pat them dry and give me a few minutes.
I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy. I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: “Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom.”
Celine Dion
“One moment, tremendous happiness; the next, fatigue sets in, and I cried for no reason, and then that took care of itself. Some of the first days after I came home, I was a little outside myself. I had no appetite, and that bothered me. My mother remarked that she noticed I had moments of lifelessness, but reassured me that this was entirely normal. It’s for things like that after having a baby that mothers really need emotional support.”
Bolatito Idakula
“I remember feeling horrible that I was so unhappy. I mean after everything you’ll think my son was going to make me the happiest girl in the world but I was just sad! I was always weepy, feeling like a failure, questioning everything about me. I never thought about hurting him but I remember snapping at [him] a few times out of frustration because he won’t stop crying. I didn’t want to admit it but I was so depressed. I say it all the time but I don’t know how I overcame this season except God’s Grace. And my husband being so patient. I remember when he realized I was just exhausted and decided we had to sleep train so I could SLEEP. That first night of sleeping for over 7 hours was MAGIC!!! I didn’t even know how desperately I needed that. More women need to know that they aren’t alone in this and speaking up is also key to healing.”
Gwyneth Paltrow
“When my son, Moses, came into the world in 2006, I expected to have another period of euphoria following his birth,” Gwyneth Paltrow shares on her website, GOOP. “Instead I was confronted with one of the darkest and most painfully debilitating chapters of my life.” In an interview with Good Housekeeping, she elaborates, “I felt like a zombie. I couldn’t access my heart. I couldn’t access my emotions. I couldn’t connect. It was terrible. It was the exact opposite of what had happened when Apple was born…I couldn’t believe it wasn’t the same. I just thought it meant I was a terrible mother and a terrible person…About four months into it, Chris came to me and said, ‘Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong.’ I kept saying, ‘No, no, I’m fine.’ But Chris identified it, and that sort of burst the bubble.”
Ese Ark
After Boobman was born I struggled to find my Happy. At the same time, I had to act happy because who isn’t happy after birthing a child?
I carried on everyday reminding myself that as a mother my happiness came second. I needed to be there for my child. I needed to love him, care for him, take care of him etc.
As he grew, I felt myself sink deeper into the hole that sat in my core. And I couldn’t express this. I remember the day the health visitor came to check on us. She asked, “have you had any unpleasant thoughts concerning your baby?”
“No, I have been so happy since he arrived.” I lied.
She asked a few more questions, checked his height, head size, weight, and was done.
As she left, I wondered if I should call her back and tell her about that night he wouldn’t sleep and I needed sleep, and as I breastfed him, I imagined what would happen if I threw him against the wall. Perhaps I’d be free from this little bondage that seemed to be running my life. But I didn’t. I feared they would think me crazy. Some who knew me already thought me crazy. Sigh. I let her go. I returned to getting by one day at a time.
The day he turned 6 months, I decided I was going to run away. Because he was breastfeeding and I didn’t have any money I stuck around. At 9 months and three weeks, I had saved a little money so I weaned him one Friday, cold turkey style. Nobody knew I was weaning him. By the next day, he had forgotten breast. I was left with swollen painful breasts but I felt it was worth it because finally nothing was tying him to me.
On the 1st of November 2015, a week before he turned 10 months, I took him to my mum’s along with a new nanny I had gotten a week earlier. I told my mum I had a spa date and would be back for him in 2 hours.
As I left the house, I headed to the airport, bought a one way ticket to Lagos and left Abuja, Boobman, and motherhood behind. I sent text messages to my family that I was gone and not coming back.
They tried to reach me by email. I was told that I abandoned my child and I was a bad mother. It was true. They were right. I had already concluded to myself that I was a bad mother long before anyone else told me so. I wasn’t going to mother, I wanted to feel alive. I wanted to feel I mattered too. I wanted to feel, period.
I didn’t want to hurt my baby. I wasn’t sure how long I would have lasted before I snapped. Leaving was the only option. I wasn’t going to come back.
A few months later we were reunited. I was told to apologize to him for leaving him. What they didn’t know was for the months I planned my leaving, he was aware. I told him every time I breastfed him that I was sorry I had to go away without him. I told him the times I was sad. I told him the times I felt lost and empty. And the night before that November 1st, I shed a tear as I told him I was leaving the next day.
I still remember my final thought before I left. I said to myself, “if I die now, this child will survive and even thrive.” At that, my mind made itself up.
I know we like to think a mother should sacrifice herself for her babies but sometimes mother wants to run away and leave everything behind. This usually starts and ends as a thought or wishful thinking for most new mothers. For me, it was the only way to live. So I took the leap.
